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Other regulation, also known as social regulation, refers to the ability to manage and influence the emotions and behaviours of others in a positive way. It involves being able to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and build positive relationships. Other regulation is an important component of emotional intelligence, as it allows you to navigate social situations and work effectively with others.
An example of other regulation is when a manager notices that a team member is becoming overwhelmed and stressed. The manager might offer to help by taking on some of their tasks or adjusting their workload to better match their strengths and interests. By demonstrating empathy and concern, the manager can help the team member feel supported and valued, which can contribute to a more positive work environment.
Another example of other regulation is when a teacher notices that a student is becoming distracted and disengaged. The teacher might offer to work one-on-one with the student to help them understand the material or adjust the classroom environment to better suit their learning style. By demonstrating understanding and flexibility, the teacher can help the student feel more engaged and motivated to learn.
Other regulation is an important component of emotional intelligence and effective communication. By managing and influencing others' emotions and behaviours in a positive way, you can build stronger relationships and achieve greater success in your personal and professional lives.
Becoming better at other regulation involves developing a set of skills and strategies to manage and influence the emotions and behaviours of others in a positive way. Here are some techniques that can be helpful, note the similarities to self-regulation, and how this is more involved:
Effective communication: Developing effective communication skills, such as active listening and assertiveness, can help you express yourself clearly and manage conflicts in a constructive way.
Empathy: Understanding and empathizing with others' emotions and perspectives can help you build stronger relationships and influence others in a positive way.
Relationship building: Investing time and effort in building positive relationships with others can help you establish trust and influence over time.
Emotional intelligence: Developing emotional intelligence skills, such as self-awareness and self-regulation, can help you better understand your own emotions and reactions, which in turn can help you better manage and influence others' emotions and behaviour (this is the entire point - tucked neatly away in the fourth segment of self and other awareness and regulation. The knowledge, language, and experience you acquire by trying this stuff helps you become emotionally intelligent and in control of your life!).
Conflict resolution: Learning effective strategies for resolving conflicts, such as compromising and collaborating can help you build stronger relationships and influence others in a positive way.
Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries and expectations with others can help you manage your own emotions and behaviours, as well as influence others in a positive way.
Overall, becoming better at other regulation involves a combination of skill development, self-awareness, self-regulation, and other awareness. By practicing these techniques regularly, you can develop greater emotional intelligence and build stronger relationships with others.
Do
After trying to be self-aware, then self-regulating, and then aware of others, try managing expectations or setting boundaries. These situations might not pop us as frequently, but some great places to try this would be with your manager at work - if a project needs more time: tell them now. Don’t wait till the deadline approaches, tell them upfront what’s outstanding, what you’re doing to get it done, and how long you think you’ll need to finish (make sure to provide the expectation setting piece here of “when the new deadline needs to be”). For boundary setting, don’t be afraid to tell someone on a date if you’re feeling uncomfortable, or if a friend or family member pesters you way too often. This is where you get to teach others how they should treat you.