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​​Self-reliance emphasizes the importance of relying on your own resources, abilities, and judgments in order to live a fulfilling life. Self-reliance involves taking responsibility for your own actions and decisions and relying on your own inner resources rather than external sources for validation or guidance.

You should want to be self-reliant because it allows you to take ownership of your life, build confidence and resilience, foster creativity and innovation, and allow you to continue to grow and develop throughout your life. Other benefits include:

  • Freedom: Being self-reliant allows you to take ownership of your own life and make decisions based on your own values and priorities, rather than external pressures or expectations.

  • Confidence: By relying on your own abilities and resources, you can build confidence and self-esteem, which can lead to a greater sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

  • Resilience: Self-reliance can also help you develop resilience in the face of challenges or setbacks. By learning to rely on yourself, you can develop a greater sense of inner strength and resilience that can help you overcome obstacles and bounce back from adversity.

  • Creativity: Self-reliance can also foster creativity and innovation, as you are encouraged to think outside of the box and find new solutions to problems.

  • Personal growth: By taking responsibility for your own growth and development, you can continue to learn and grow throughout your life, which can lead to greater personal fulfillment and a sense of purpose.

Becoming self-reliant isn’t easy. It takes time, effort, and energy; or, my favourite three personal inputs: attitude, effort, and perspective. Here are some steps that can help individuals become more self-reliant:

  • Develop self-awareness: Self-awareness is an important first step in becoming more self-reliant. It involves gaining a deeper understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and identifying any limiting beliefs or attitudes that may be holding you back.

  • Set goals: Setting clear, achievable goals can help you become more self-reliant by providing a sense of direction and purpose. It's important to set goals that are aligned with your own values and desires, rather than external pressures or expectations.

  • Cultivate self-discipline: Self-discipline is essential for becoming more self-reliant. It involves making a conscious effort to resist distractions and temptations and to stay focused on your goals and priorities.

  • Take calculated risks: Taking risks can be scary, but it's an important part of becoming more self-reliant. By taking calculated risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone, you can build confidence and develop new skills and abilities.

  • Learn from failure: Failure is inevitable, but it's also an opportunity to learn and grow. By embracing failure as a natural part of the learning process, you can become more resilient and better equipped to handle future challenges.

An example of how to become more self-reliant:

Let's say you have the goal of starting your own business. To become more self-reliant, you might start by developing a deeper understanding of your own skills, strengths, and weaknesses. You might then set clear, achievable goals for your business, such as creating a business plan or developing a marketing strategy. To cultivate self-discipline, you might establish a daily routine for working on your business, and make a conscious effort to resist distractions and stay focused. To take calculated risks, you might start by testing your business idea on a small scale before investing more time and resources. Finally, you might learn from any failures or setbacks along the way, and use them as opportunities to refine your approach and improve your chances of success.

By following these steps and cultivating a sense of self-reliance, you can become more confident, empowered, and fulfilled in your life.


This is a big one - today, take one of the goals you have and think about what you need to do to get there. Set yourself up for success by considering where your locus of control is and what steps are within your control to achieve the goal. Consider non-judgementally the knowledge and skillsets you have vs where they need to be. Write a short plan that puts you at the center of your goal. You are accountable to yourself, you can do this. If you want further motivation on self-reliance (one of my favourite pursiites) - read Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It’s quite short - about 20 pages, and is included in the curated book list.


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